Loneliness

I love the idea of sitting on a bench next to someone I’ve just met, sparking a conversation that would see us sitting there for hours on end. Even though I would class myself as an introvert, I still have that want for human connection and conversation. I’ve always feared that what I have to say would bore people or that I can’t articulate myself resulting in me sounding dumb. But when I think of all the potential conversations that I have missed out on because of this fear it feels like a massive loss.

Loneliness can show up even when I’m surrounded by people. It’s that feeling of being disconnected from others, like you are in your own little bubble. Your mind holds you prisoner and you’re trapped inside your own head. The problem with this is how people perceive your behaviour. They may think that you are rude or not making an effort. When really it’s just that little berating voice feeding you so much negativity that you can’t focus or be in the moment. However, say if I left a gathering of friends to go home and be alone, I’d sit with the same feeling of loneliness and long to be talking with someone other than the dog. No offence Stan but it’s hardly a two-way conversation with you.

Over the past few months I’ve tried to unearth the reason why I feel so lonely at times and I definitely made a breakthrough – horray! I realised that in accepting who I am and being authentically myself, I was able to attract my kind of people. I joined The Co-Working Club, various creative Facebook groups and enrolled on a course called Find Your Thing with Sophie Cliff. All these things massively improved my confidence and enabled me to connect with those who have similar interests. It’s ground-breaking when you finally realise that you are not alone, your people are out there and they want to hear what you have to say. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a lot of self-doubt and I’m a work in progress. I know that the fairy godmother doesn’t just wave her magic wand and suddenly I’ll become a confident, go-getting queen. It takes a lot of practice, countless affirmations (which really do work by the way) and a big dose of self-love.

I’m now starting to feel like I belong, like I have a place in this world and that I’ve got something to offer (besides my very yummy banana muffins). All jokes aside though, it’s so important to realise your worth and to never doubt that you have something to say that people are going to want to hear. However, it does mean you have to step outside your comfort zone but believe me the benefits of doing this massively outweigh the initial anxiety.

So try it out, take a seat on the bench and don’t be afraid to let people see the real you.   

🧠