Day Pass
So, I’ve been considering for a while to bring into play what I like to call a ‘Day Pass’. The idea behind this is that when I’m having a really crappy day and no amount of tea or positive affirmations are going to get my butt out of bed, I can use this pass. I would wave it in the air like a red flag, hand it to my partner and it would excuse me from having to do any adulting for an entire day.
Imagine it now, one whole day of having no responsibilities. Cups of tea, your favourite foods and hot water bottles being served to your bedside. A bath being drawn, with sweet smelling bubbles and a heckload of candles. Your only worry being what book you should read or what Netflix show to watch next.
Now if you are reading this thinking ‘That’s a normal Sunday routine for me’ then I salute you because you’ve achieved what I can only describe as the ultimate state of bliss. In reality, I would never allow myself a ‘Day Pass’ because one, I don’t like to give into my symptoms and two, I’d just scold myself for sitting idle and not being productive. Now you could argue that seeing how many Tunnock’s teacakes you can eat before throwing up is a perfect use of one’s time but I just know that’s not how my mind will see it.
I feel that with an invisible illness, it is so easy for people to forget the daily struggles that you have to contend with. To be honest, you are so used to your symptoms now that even you don’t acknowledge when you’re feeling pretty lousy. You go about your daily routine, not making a fuss because you want to try and lead a “normal” life. The thing is, this is your normal and you have to make it work for you in the best way possible. If you never allow yourself to have a bad day and just keep charging that never ending mountain, you WILL burn out.
Another thing that I tend to do is feel the need to provide people with an explanation as to why I don’t want to do something. If I want to work from bed or if I don’t feel up to taking the dog for a walk, I go on a long old spiel trying to explain myself. Why do we do this? Again, I believe it’s one of the worries that comes with an invisible illness, it’s that people will think you are “faking” it or just making up excuses. However, most of the time this is entirely our hang-up and insecurities and not actually what others think at all. But there is reasoning behind why we feel this way and I know for me it’s because of the countless “Oh but you look so well” comments which are sometimes accompanied by the ‘I don’t really believe you’ side glance. Maybe I am being paranoid?
The thing is, there is absolutely no shame in admitting that you need a break and taking time for some well-deserved self-care. Your body will be so thankful for the rest that it’ll be on it’s best behaviour the following day no doubt. Not to mention the wonders it will do for your mental health, creating a calm space for your mind to unwind and breathe. Just think, no racing thoughts about what you should cook for dinner or how many loads of washing you need to get done.
Just hand over that ‘Day Pass’, lie back and indulge in a little downtime that you SO deserve!
🧠