Reframing my mindset
I’ve decided that I need to learn to apply the same positive thinking to my health as I do for my work and personal projects. I seem to have so much more drive and determination, encouraging myself to go after my goals and actively quietening any self-sabotaging thoughts in my head. However, when it comes to my health, I let my anxiety get the better of me and it completely rules me. It’s one area of my life that I’m not in control off, well at least I tell myself that I am not. I allow my negative thoughts to creep in and I feed them by choosing to remain in this ‘worrying about worrying’ stage. I’m sure many of you can relate to this.
I’m going to give you an example of my thought pattern. I’m currently worrying about my symptoms as they have been persistent for a long time now. I know that due to my condition and how my body reacts to stress, being anxious and worrying can heighten my symptoms and make them worse. Therefore, the obvious next step would be to try and reduce my anxiety in some way. So, recently I decided to try CBD oil to do just that but guess what? I worried so much about taking the CBD oil and the effects it might have on me because of the medication I’m on, I kept putting it off and only ended up taking 3 drops before calling it quits. So I’m worrying about taking the CBD oil which is meant to stop me worrying about worrying about my symptoms. Have I lost you yet? Honestly, this is how my brain works and I don’t know about you but I’m exhausted just reading that back.
Instead of being in a constant state of worry, I need to remind myself of the potential positive gains which are no doubt going to outweigh the negatives. I should see the possibility of CBD oil helping me as an exciting and potentially life changing thing. Instead, I dress it up as this big green monster out to destroy me.
I’ve mentioned before in my previous post that I would try anything to help ease my symptoms, so can someone please explain why I’m fighting it so hard? My theory is that a few weeks ago I actually had some relief and I honestly felt on top of the world. I could not remember the last time that I had felt so good and for so long. I mean having 5-7 days of feeling like my old self again was actual bliss. Because of this very rare moment, I tried to convince myself that I’m absolutely fine. Nothing wrong with me mate. I don’t need no help. Well, that was a dream short lived as the following week some symptoms returned and I’m back to the same old routine of ‘worrying about worrying’ again.
So, I think it is about time that I focused on reframing my mindset around my health anxiety. Treat it as a project if I really need to. After all, I’m worth just as much attention as my other endeavours and if not more because without me everything else will cease to exist.
🧠